It was beautiful. It was also a bit unnerving to realize so suddenly, for how long I had been so oblivious to the truth.
It is actually more shaming to admit, and I will, so you might also, that I should have not only known this truth, but I had actually counseled my own Mother at length about it only a few months prior.
My Mother and I live on total opposite sides of the country but we speak quite often (weekly) and text as well (throughout the week). But during a particularly upsetting conversation, (Mom’s nervous and worrisome nature – nothing horrible), I finally asked her if she was reading her Bible.
I told her that I had been studying the bible and doing a kind of “Bible studies” myself whenever anything in particular was on my mind. I had discovered a while before then that it didn’t matter what was bothering me, what I didn’t understand or even what I wanted to understand; that I could find answers in the Word.
Well, that brought a fresh bout of tears and more of what was troubling her so deeply. She was about to have double knee surgeries and had also just been informed that in her assisted living community she was being moved to a brand new apartment. She had already packed so many of her belongings because the doctors were not sure how long she would be in rehab. Her Bible was packed.
I immediately had my new project. I had been creating these “Bible studies” for myself, coloring them, shaping them, making them pretty as I went but I realized I could now go back and rewrite them in a book form for my Mom. So I did. I also, with the help of a friend, took a large print Bible I had just ordered and put those nifty and pretty marker tabs on each book of the Bible for her. About a month later it was ready for her so I printed it, bound it together and mailed it and she was thrilled.
Jumping ahead, I was sitting in the guest chair in front of my mentor at work and we were simply chatting and I had told her about something that had happened over the weekend that I had been so worried about, but how we were so watched over and blessed that she got a very serious look on her face and told me that I needed to stop stressing out about these types of things. She went on to remind me of my very good job, how hard I worked and that I needed to let things like this be and enjoy my daughter while she was still so young.
Later that week, ironically, I had my second year evaluation for my job for the State of Alaska. The District Superintendent is my direct supervisor so he conducted my evaluation. As we were wrapping it up (it was an excellent evaluation) he sat back and told me that I needed to relax. While he thoroughly appreciated my efforts and progress, I needed to understand that I was over a year past my probationary period, into my second year with a second excellent evaluation and that I was safe. I could stop worrying and simply do what I had been taught to do, that I did well.
That hit me hard. Stop worrying. I was safe.
It all hit me at once. My previous chiding of and to my Mother, my mentor’s advisement and chastisement and now my boss it was all part of the same lesson.
Do you know what it came to at that moment for me?
Asking myself, “Do I believe, truly believe, in one God, who sent His Son to become man, walk among us, and die for our sins so that we might live? Do I believe that God raised His Son, Jesus Christ, from the dead, to walk again and rise to heaven to His Father’s right hand?” “Do I believe?”
Then it doesn’t make any sense whatsoever to worry or be anxious, to fuss or worry. It really is that simple of a fact.
Granted, it is a terribly hard habit and inclination to break and retrain your mind to. But I can promise you this also. God, Jesus the Son and Holy Spirit will help, and not abandon those who love Him.
Now? Now I live with hope and joy, every day. I want you to as well.
Scriptures for A Beautiful Understanding