The feelings are huge: Relief, shame, awe, heartache, healing, joy,
calmness, understanding, peace, excitement, purpose, strength,
perspective, confidence, and so many more.
All of this and so much more as I spend every moment focused on Jesus, connected with God, immersed in the Word.
Life
just seems better, smoother, happier and calmer when I invite Jesus to
share my day, so that He too may enjoy and take pleasure in moments of
my day as they happen according to His plan and to guide me through the
tougher moments.
He sees all of my sins, knows all of my
shortcomings and weaknesses. He sees all that I am; and still yet, He
loves me, He forgives me and He comforts me. He makes His presence in my
life and circumstances known to me, even at my most self-centered. He
loves me and has plans for me and where I am heading.
We
understand as people, both the written word and the spoken language in a
certain way. We understand in a certain way, but certainly not in all
the same ways. Intellectually, we know this but to deeply understand it
is a revelation.
This revelation began in me as a child. My
siblings and I were raised as Catholics. Baptized, given First
Communion, schooled and Confirmed in the church. We were absolutely
expected, with very few exceptions, to attend church weekly.
My
Mom did things a bit different, however. We lived and grew up in a small
farming community with a church of every flavor and belief available to
us and as long as we went to church, worshiped with a fellowship,
prayed with others, then all was good in our home.
This was a
beautiful gift; Mom gave all of us, really. The knowing, belief so deep,
that it like breathing and was nothing to even ponder, it just was. It
was the truth of One great and Almighty King, one God.
What has occurred to me so often and yet I have had so few opportunities to share is that I have fallen in love with God’s Word.
This
too, was a beautiful gift in my life. Given to me by a treasured and
respected friend. The Parallel Study Bible: a Bible, that includes in 4
columns, side by side; the King James Version, the New Century Version,
The Message and Comprehensive Study Notes. It helped the Bible come to
life for me.
I love reading, studying and surrounding my
thoughts and self with the Word. It just seems to smooth out all of the
restlessness and confusions that seem to roll and twist inside of me.
The Word has been my direction, my comfort and my protection.
I
have a fantastic library in my home. In that library I also have a
fantastic collection of Bibles of different versions and
interpretations, books of reference, bible studies and devotionals. The
conclusion I have come to over the years I have become closer, time and
again, to the Father and Jesus through the Word?
“It all starts with God”, Rick Warren said in A Purpose Driven Life.
I love that. Every direction, every piece of advice, words of guidance,
every answer to every question is found in the Word. Truth and love,
written down and found in the Word; given to us to study and understand
more and come ever closer to and of our precious and Holy God.
Trust
and faith are a battle I fight continuously within myself. ~ He says,
“Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I
will be exalted in the earth.” ~Psalm 46:10. Even knowing deeply that
God watches over me, hears me and loves me; I worry still, if I am not
diligent with my thoughts.
I have come to understand that the
only way for me to be accepting of not understanding what is happening
around me sometimes is turning to the Word. The answer is there for me.
It is the assurance that I am loved, treasured, watched over, and guided
towards something wonderful. God answers, but sometimes I tend to be
hardheaded, so learning to immediately turn to the Word along with my
prayers has helped me hear His words clearly.
It all starts with
God. This is such a huge truth and so obvious to me now that it boggles
my mind how I ignored it for so long. He has been with me throughout my
life. Guiding and adjusting my path, leading me towards this place and
time of hope and joy.